Keeping the romance alive.

I would like to start with my defense: I have never been big on Valentine's Day. I know this is a common stance, the whole, why-do-you-need-a-day-designated-to-show-someone-you-love-them-you-should-show-them-every-day-or-at-least-on-a-random-Thursday-in-April-not-on-a-day-of-overly-priced-candy-and-roses. So I do very little to acknowledge it. I used to be very romantic in general, in a cheap/silly way, like getting Scott a random m&m's dispenser and candy to fill it when he finished a big test. But as the years have passed, I've slacked on my random acts of thoughtfulness. And Scott was always right there with me, with the exception of our first Valentine's Day, when he did the whole roses-chocolate-perfume thing (and which I have to admit was very nice). But mostly, we haven't put much effort into our gifts to one another.

Until a couple of years ago. Scott, remembering my long-standing rule that flowers on Valentine's, anniversaries or birthdays were not a good gift because they didn't show any thought or originality, and that roses were pretty much always a waste of money on me, actually put some thought into his gift to me: A giant rose-scented Yankee candle. As I opened it, I could tell by his boyish smile that he was proud of this gift. "You said never get you roses! But you love Yankee candles, and so I thought the rose-scented one was romantic for Valentine's Day." "It's great! I love it!" But he could tell by my face and my fake enthusiastic voice that I didn't. Lest you think I'm heartless, I really thought it was a GREAT idea. He clearly thought about it and came up with a clever alternative to flowers, and I do love Yankee candles. But, in my further defense, the reason I told Scott that roses, while pretty, are never a good idea to give me is because I can't stand the smell of them. So rose-scented candle ≠ my favorite Valentine's Day gift ever. However, I had never explained my aversion to roses in particular, so knowing how excited he was about his gift (and Scott rarely gets excited about anything that doesn't involve football) I tried to act really excited about it, lit it up and burned it the rest of the evening. Then I never burned it again. Every once in a while he'd notice it and comment that he knew I didn't like it.

Flash forward to today. Now, we both stopped and got cards and gifts after work, and we both acknowledged that we only got something because we were afraid if we didn't the other would and we'd feel bad. (For the record, I feel bad anyway.)

Scott got me a very sweet card about how we are great together because we understand one another and have our inside jokes and other-romantic-like stuff. And he got me a book, which he hurried to explain was from Hallmark and that he got as an afterthought instead of the picture frame with a sentiment about dogs (granted, I love my dogs) that he'd been carrying around. I don't want to go into what the book was, I'm sure I'll mention it later, but no, it wasn't dirty, just related to something we've been "discussing," i.e. trying to convince the other we're each right.

It totally made me tear up while apologizing for how janky his gift was. Here's why:

The card I got him says:

(Outside) "Some nights I lie next to you and feel like the luckiest woman in the world." (Inside) "Other nights I feel like a woman who should never serve chili for dinner ever again."

True? Absolutely. Sweet or romantic? Not at all. To further defend myself, I did write some very sincere/sweet sentiments inside. And when I was coming up with questions for a newlywed game for my friend's wedding shower one of the questions I found was "If you were blindfolded in a crowded room, how would you find your man? By sight, smell or taste?" And I totally said smell. Scott has a musk. Sometimes it's a little fresher than others, and sometimes I tell him he has to shower before he can come to bed, but he has a distinct smell.

Anyway, couple that card with the gifts I gave him -- a box of white chocolate-covered pretzels (that I told him he had to share with me) and a small heart-shaped tin with a picture of two frogs and a thought bubble that says "Toadally in love" and containing a "passion cookie" (really, a flower-shaped shortbread-ish cookie in alternating petals of "chocolate" and "vanilla") -- and keeping in mind that I spent a total of $6.97 at Wal-Mart for this display of affection and you'll totally get why I teared up when his gift wasn't just as janky as mine.

The next time I jokingly say that Scott isn't the most romantic guy in the world, someone please remind me that I'm the girl that got him a card that referenced farting in bed.