Along with the robe, tam (because we're too cool for mortarboards) and hood, I was delighted to find a message from the Commencement Committee telling me to BYO water if I think I'll get thirsty during the four-hour ordeal, instructions for how to use my hood and how to care for my robe (otherwise that shit'll cost ya $600). I proceeded to practice looking like a grad:
The thing about robes or gowns or whatever you want to call them is that one-size-does-not-fit-all. I got the 5'2" version, which is intended for all of us vertically challenged graduates. The problem is that there is no difference between mine, my equally-short-but-30-pounds-lighter-friends and a 200 lb potbellied linebacker for the midget football league. Also, I'm never quite sure how long those things are supposed to be. At any rate, this one definitely made me look like a midget in a choir robe. I thought maybe the hat would help me look more "doctoral":
It did not. It did, however, lend itself to some stylistic interpretations that would most likely not be law-school approved:
Chef Liz! Ummm, does this mean I have to BYO snacks, too?
I must have been thinking about paying off my student loans with my non-existent income.
Then I remembered I hadn't added the tassel! That had to make it better.
Or just kinda sad and droopy.
THEN IT DAWNED ON ME! I forgot my cape.*
Am I swooping? My superhero* instincts must have taken over.
*You doubt my terminology? Just wait until you've had Commencement/Superhero Training.
Still missing something. Luckily, my graduation garb came with a coordinating Adult Hooded Poncho!
The hooded poncho helps, especially with the logo in front.
So basically, I hope it rains Friday. Otherwise I'll just look like a midget linebacker in a choir robe and funny hat.
